Monday 20 October 2014

The Spark Within - A Tarot Ritual


By Andrea Kaldy

A few Christmases ago I was given a book called Oil For Your Lamp by the owner of a place I teach at. For a long time it was sitting on the top of my bookshelf, once in a while reminding me while dusting that I should read it. If not for gaining some generic wisdom then at least for the courtesy that I can tell my friend that I have read the book she gave me.

I had a feeling she hadn't picked this title by accident and half-annoyed I think I was avoiding the book on purpose. She asked me from time to time if I had started reading it but I managed to duck having to answer or at least I thought so. She stopped asking me after a while and relieved at the thought of having to be accountable for it, I continued to dust it off on the top of the shelf.

I even forgot about it soon afterwards until one day one of my kids picked it up for some reason. It was only a small book with colourful photos in it so it was appealing with its smart cover design and stood out from the rest of the pile of books I was about to take out into the garage. I felt it, I knew it, I had to read it.

I defiantly picked it up and opened it in the middle somewhere, I have this bad habit of doing this to books, to read a few pages from the middle to see if I like the writer's style. An hour later almost in tears I was sitting next to my bed on the floor fully immersed in this little wonder. Reading about other women and how they have overcome challenges in their lives and how they have triumphed over tragedies or even how they kept their lives together after cataclysmic changes that turned everything around them upside down.

I still don't know what grabbed me about this book so much. Why it touched me so deeply, why I was a crying mess as I recognised so much of myself in many of the stories and narrations that were packed into that tiny book. I couldn't read all of it, I had to put it down and I had to allow myself to understand my strong reaction to what I was reading. It took me about 6 months to pick it up again and when I did I started reading the book from the very beginning, savouring each story as I was going and letting its meaning seep into my consciousness.

I started to understand why my friend gave me that book. On the verge of a burn-out, how apt a name is that, she intuitively knew that it was exactly what I needed. I wasn't ready just then but when I was, the guidance was there. I was burning out from disbursing my energy too much, from wanting fix everyone's problems for them, from being frustrated that the travel on my spiritual path wasn't as fast as I wanted it to be, that I had no focal point when all I heard from those I looked up to that I had to have one.

I was vegetating day by day, going through the motions, robot-like, no emotions, no passion, no fire in my belly. It felt like this cold piece of stone, heavy and grey sitting in my stomach, making it harder and harder every day to get up and start the day. I was in depression.  I felt it, I knew it, I had to cut my way through it.

Day by the day that book game me comfort, gave me examples on how I may empower myself with small things. It started a small spark in my belly like an ancient flint stone and with each day as I kindled that spark it grew. It became a focal point of mine and every single decision I made afterward concerning my well being was directed by that spark. I listened to that small warmth in my belly and only allowed things and people in my life that fed that warmth and supported its growth. When I needed guidance I asked myself and if the feeling went cold I pushed back but when I felt the warmth coming through my solar plexus chakra I accepted.

One day I noticed that the tiny kindling that I protected from mal intent for so long has grown into a strong, ferocious, independent fire that was my path and my passion. It was no big revelation, no fanfare, no red carpet, no chorus of angels. It was just a quiet knowing that crept up on me one day and I just knew. The oil for my lamp has been refilled and through my renewed connection with the universal force it has now found a never-ending well of divine replenishment.

I now take time on a regular basis to honour that well and to share it with others and help them find their own source of this life-fuel and through that work I constantly replenish mine.

Here is a simple Tarot ritual that may help you find your focal point and put the fire back into your belly, lift you out of the darkness and replenish your faith in yourself as well as the divine. For this you will need The Hermit from the Major Arcana, a candle of your choice and incense that you find most soothing. It's this simple.

I want you to light your incense and sit in your sacred space with The Hermit in your hands. Now look deeply into the card and absorb all the features that this image has. Become the Hermit yourself. Your mission is to find your light. The single light by which you will travel, the one that will be your guiding light, the one that will assist you in your search of finding yourself. Close your eyes and imagine the path before you with a faint light in the distance. Say a prayer and ask that you may find this light with ease and be able to keep focus on it no matter what it on the path before you. Start walking towards the light in your visualisation, always keeping it in your sight. Feel how easy it is to move towards and when you come across a challenge on the path ask your divinity to remove it for you and then wait for the road to clear and start moving again. You may not get to the light on your first go so try again the next day. When you reach the light during your meditation, take it and own it. Notice how different you feel when you claim it. Enjoy this experience and know that you can come back to anytime you like. When you come out of the meditation light your candle and put it in a place where you can see it every day. Light it every day with a simple affirmation that you are now kindling the light in you. Before the candle burns down completely, light a new candle off the old one to have a representation of the continuation of your intent. Revisit this exercise when you feel like you need to find focus within yourself and your light replenished.

 

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